How to get out of depression after a divorce?

Alas, not all couples manage to maintain their union. Due to circumstances, betrayal or simply the dissimilarity of characters, spouses in some cases are forced to take a difficult decision. Divorce greatly changes the way of life, its usual course. This period is associated with emotional stress and experiences, the oppression of which often leads to prolonged and deep depression in both men and women.

In life, everyone has to face a considerable number of various difficulties. The rupture of marital relations seriously hurt feelings, confuses and sometimes brings quite noticeable stress. When the decision on divorce is made and voiced, it is necessary to put a cross on joint plans and the former way of life.

The following experiences and circumstances can lead to depression after a break.

• Feeling useless and worthless. Most often, those partners who “lived” with their second half feel the same, pinning their hopes only on an alliance with their husband or wife.
• Disappointment in oneself, infringement of pride and pride. If a divorce has occurred because of a new relationship or a betrayal of a partner, such experiences often torment and do not give rest.
• Guilt in front of children, fear of losing touch with them.
• Repentance for past mistakes. Often, after a break, former partners fall into deep self-digging, severely condemning themselves for any past events and misdeeds in marriage.
• Financial difficulties. After the dissolution of the marriage, the joint family budget falls apart; one of the former spouses has children in charge. The problem may also be finding new housing at the junction.
• Tortured by guilt or shame.

Divorce can be of two types:

• by mutual agreement, when the decision was made by both spouses;
• initiated by one side, while for the other the break is not desired.

Divorces in the first scenario can be called peaceful. After them, former partners often manage to quickly arrange their personal lives. They can even quite communicate after a while. But even in this case, the former spouses are still not immune from the occurrence of depressive symptoms.

In the second case, the experience of the left side is much harder and stronger. The period of establishing a psychoemotional state and way of life can then be quite long.

In both men and women, symptoms of a depressive disorder look alike in the same way:

• strong apathy, which can not be overcome;
• chronic fatigue;
• sleep disturbance or insomnia;
• tearfulness, nervous exhaustion, inability to cope with emotions;
• depression is often manifested by outbursts of anger and aggression against loved ones;
• deep resentment towards a partner, desire for revenge;
• fear of the future, a sense of hopelessness and hopelessness of later life;
• fall in self-esteem, self-doubt;
• addiction to alcohol and drugs, exacerbation of past addiction;
• suspiciousness, panic attacks, obsessive fears;
• neglect of their appearance and health, a person, as they say, “starts up himself”;
• self-isolation, narrowing of the circle of communication or refusal of contact;
• suicidal tendencies, desire to commit suicide.

For depression characterized by a long course.If one or two or three symptoms are observed for a couple of weeks and then disappear, then this is just a passing state of sadness. It is not so scary and in most cases it is possible to cope with it quickly and without consequences.

For people experiencing a divorce, depressed state takes place in several stages. Depending on personal characteristics and specific situation, the duration of each of them may be different. The best option is the speedy flow of each of the phases without getting stuck on any of them.

• The first stage is the denial of the situation. "This can not be and never will be" - such a reaction is a protective mechanism of the psyche. Through the rejection of the obvious, inevitable psychological tension is removed.
• Anger and bitterness. After the transition to this phase, aggression and the desire to protect their interests come out on top. This period is characterized by scandals and heavy conflicts, which further alienate partners from each other.
• A keen desire to return a partner. Desperate attempts to improve relations, to persuade a spouse to reunite. Obsessive conversations, blackmail, gifts, threats can be used.
• The stage of active experience. The period of maximum acceptance of the situation and the beginning of adaptation to it. After all the defense mechanisms have worked, the human psyche is forced to put up with a break and new circumstances. From this stage begins the immediate experience and recovery process. It is at this stage that delay occurs most often.

In turn, the duration of each stage of depressive disorder and the severity of the experience depend on several factors:

• the age of the former spouses, the duration of their marriage and premarital relations;
• availability of support from children, parents, friends and loved ones;
• mental characteristics and stress tolerance of each of the former spouses;
• marriage relationships and feelings for each other at the time of the break;
• features of the children experiencing the divorce of parents;
• specific reasons for the breakdown of marital relations (treason, deception, financial problems, interference of relatives, addiction or dependence of one of the spouses, domestic violence, etc.).

In the case of severe and prolonged depression, you can not let everything take its course. Such a state can subsequently leave an indelible mark on the psyche, impair health. No matter how difficult it is for a man or a woman during this period, it is important to gather all your will and direct it to return to full-fledged life.

Psychological advice can help relieve stress and normalize the psychoemotional state after a divorce.

• Do not ban your tears and sadness. Active output of emotions gives very good results. The pain and resentment need to live, and only after that you can let go of all the negativity associated with this situation.
• Do not rely on yourself. Let close people, family or friends help you. Confidential conversations, the expression of experiences will help overcome depression.
• Feel free to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. Often this possibility is neglected, considering it a manifestation of weakness. Meanwhile, professional help helps to get rid of difficult psycho-emotional experiences.
• Exit depression after a divorce will help hobbies and physical education. If you have not been fond of either one or the other, get yourself a hobby. Register in a gym, a creative studio, master any musical instrument. This will broaden the horizons and increase the social circle.

• Antidepressants relieve acute mental stress. But such preparations can be prescribed only by a medical psychologist or psychotherapist, having previously assessed the situation. In addition, in many cases, antidepressants are addictive. After that, additional therapy is required to relieve dependence on them.
• The following advice is more relevant to women, but may be partially appropriate for men. Take care of yourselflook for a new look for yourself and embody it through wardrobe, make-up and change of hair.
• Do not rush to start a new relationship in spite of the former half. This may lead to new disappointments. Communicate more with friends and nice people.
• Do not pour alcohol over the mountain., and the more so do not touch psychotropic substances. Very short fun will be replaced by a deterioration of the emotional state. Such a lifestyle is bound to adversely affect health.