Can I get married without registering a marriage in the registry office?

Wedding is a very important and serious step. The first mention of the wedding ceremony refers to the I in n. er This sacrament became canonically fixed by IV in AD.

The wedding unites once and for all a man and a woman, merges their souls and forms a “small church”. The whole subsequent fate of the hearts in love is blessed, becomes fertile ground for the birth and raising of children.

The ceremony is held only once (there are rare exceptions), so this step should be deliberate and voluntary.

Before performing the ceremony itself, it is necessary to undergo a thorough preparation consisting of the following points:

• attend special premarital activities;
• reading prayers;
• food restriction;
• confession;
• participation in the Eucharist.

To perform the wedding ceremony there are several prohibitions. In particular, the ceremony can not be performed between relatives up to stage IV: cousins, second cousins, stepbrothers, godfathers, godparents and godparents. You can not get married more than 3 times, not baptized, representatives of different faiths and without parental blessing. You can not take witnesses unbaptized.

The church does not approve of the marriage of spouses, if the age difference between them is more than 15 years. Such marriages are considered weak and can quickly disintegrate.

Get married immediately after the official ceremony. This procedure may be carried out both in mature and in old age. For the latter category of persons, the ceremony will be somewhat reduced, since they no longer need to pray for childbirth.

After the conversation, the priest may recommend to young couples to postpone the wedding ceremony, if he feels that spiritually they are not yet ready for this step.

You can perform a wedding ceremony only with full confidence in your soulmate. If this ceremony is really important for young people, then you should not hurry to hold it. After some time together, it will be possible to sensibly assess the strength of the marriage and then decide on the need for a wedding. On the other hand, the church advises not to postpone the wedding for too long after the official ceremony in the registry office.

Young couples who have officially registered their union in the registry office, have taken an important step, which shows the seriousness of their intentions. This cannot be said about persons who live in a civil marriage, not supported by any official documents.

The church respects state laws and sees life in an unregistered marriage a sin. Such couples do not have the right to become godparents, because their lives are permeated by lack of spirituality and profligacy, which means that they will not be able to carry out the proper spiritual and moral formation of a godson. As well as people living in an unregistered marriage, it is forbidden to take communion before they repent of their life orientations and revise them.

Any excuses of young people that the official marriage is a formality, suggests the clergyman to the idea that the decision to marry the young is very frivolous.Another argument that the young, according to them, are very fond of each other, but have not yet saved money for the wedding, also does not inspire confidence in the decision of the couple to hold the ceremony. In this case, the priest will always ask about the means for which the young people are going to raise children, to equip their homes, if they cannot even save 350 rubles to hold an official ceremony in a casual environment.

There are exceptions to the rules of the wedding ceremony after the official ceremony. But this is a serious matter, as it is considered not only by a specific priest, but also by the diocesan bishop on an individual basis. Such permission to the wedding without documents from the registry office can only give him.

There are three groups of reasons for exceptions to the pre-official wedding ceremony.

1. Both events will be held on the same day. If you show the priest a receipt from the registry office with the date and time of registration, he may be allowed to marry first, and then receive an official marriage certificate from a government agency.
2. If there are reasons that threaten the health and life of one of the future spouses. Serious operations, service in “hot spots” are considered as such reasons.
3. Church obedience and many years of regular attendance at the services of both newlyweds. In this case, the abbot can be convinced of the sincere attitude of the couple and take responsibility for their spiritual union.

Despite the fact that the church honors state laws, it is believed that without a wedding ceremony following the official ceremony, the union cannot be called complete.

At the beginning of the twentieth century, more precisely, before the revolution, there was no separation between the state and the church; therefore, the union held together within the walls of an Orthodox church had legal force. During Soviet times, it was taboo to conduct church ceremonies. Today, you can get married only after the official witness of the new union in the registry office.

Churchmen observe state laws and classify their observance as one of the virtues. A wedding without an official document does not indicate the seriousness of the intentions of both spouses, since this rite can be perceived by them simply as an observance of the family tradition or as a step where one spouse is confident in his decision, and the second still doubts.

Couples who have lived in unregistered marriages for a long time cannot hope to hold a wedding around standard rules. On the contrary, they will have to undergo a number of other church procedures (repentance, communion) in order for them to be allowed to marry.

The church recognizes as official only the union registered at the registry office. Sharing children, housekeeping and living without documentary evidence is regarded as fornication - one of the deadly sins.

The church does not approve of living in a civil marriage, believing that in this case the spouses are not responsible for each other, have no obligations, do not trust each other and love insincerely, and love is the basis of Christianity. In addition, the reluctance to formalize relations is regarded by the church as a disregard for church principles and secular laws.

If, nevertheless, there are compelling reasons forcing the spouses to conclude a spiritual marriage before the official one, you need to sincerely speak with the local clergyman and if he considers these arguments sufficient, the wedding ceremony can be held.

In order for a couple to marry, you need to go quite a long way. First, the couple must come to church for a conversation.This procedure will allow you to understand all the questions of an organizational nature, as well as to know the answers to questions about family relationships from a religious point of view.

As part of the conversation, a number of mandatory questions are asked about whether the young ones have an official document from the registry office or they are only still going to tie the knot. If the couple only wants to get married, but does not want to stamp in the passport, then the priest can regard it as an irresponsibility to create a new family. If the young people want to be married on the same day as the registration, then a church representative will bless them on the sacred Sacrament.

Newlyweds will have to sincerely answer whether they both wish to get married and whether they do this under duress. If it turns out from the conversation that one of the spouses does not want to get married, but only came to the church because of the desire of the second half, the sacrament will be refused.

The abbot can ask the young some more personal questions:

• Do they plan to have children?
• whether they will raise and raise them according to the word of God;
• how they perceive divorce, treason;
• what was their relationship in a previous marriage (if there was one) and why the union broke up.

Of course, all these questions are set by the priest not out of idle curiosity, he must be confident in the conscious decision of the newlyweds to hold a wedding ceremony. In turn, young people can also prepare questions for the representative of the church in order to clarify certain points. Usually this is due to inquiries about the content of the ceremony, the amount of time it will take to hold it, what to wear, whether it is possible to photograph and shoot the ceremony on video.

After the appointment of the number and time of the wedding is necessary to prepare all the attributes:

• official certificate from the registry office;
• rings;
• candles;
• crosses;
• large white towel;
• icons of the Savior and Our Lady;
• rushnyk

Shortly before the wedding ceremony, young people should keep a fast, confess and take communion in order to enter into a spiritual marriage, having cleared of all evil. One day before the sacrament one should not eat, smoke, drink strong drinks, have sexual relations.

The image of the bride at the wedding ceremony should be modest. A long white dress of a simple cut, scarf or veil, comfortable shoes, no makeup.

The wedding itself is divided into 2 stages: the betrothal and the ceremony. Previously, these stages were held on different days, but today they have become part of the same ceremony. First, the newlyweds fall into place. On a special dish, the priest brings wedding rings. The priest lights the cooked candles and stands in front of the young ones.

Spouses must exchange rings three times. After this rite - put on your own. The priest, holding the bridegroom's crown in his hands, overshadows the last with the flag of the cross, after which the groom must kiss the image of the Savior on his crown. A crown is placed on the head. The same procedure is carried out with the bride, only in the image on the bride's crown - the Virgin.

Crowns throughout the ceremony kept witnesses. Although these sacred attributes of the lungs, the hands quickly numb.

The priest presents a cup of young wine, consecrated with the flag of the cross. The bride and groom taste it three times in turn. The bridegroom takes the first drink. The common cup is a symbol of one destiny.

The priest takes the spouses by the arms and connects them, three times they pass around the lectern. Having reached the royal gates, the young ones stop: the groom kisses the image of Jesus Christ, his spouse - Our Lady, then the young change places. Then one by one kisses the cross, stretched by the priest. Young people are given the icons of Jesus Christ and the Virgin, which must be hung above the bed.

The priest pronounces many years for the young. Present congratulate.

After the end of the ceremony, the spouses receive a church certificate. This document is not legally binding.

The union of those married is fixed by the Lord God himself, therefore the attempts of outsiders to destroy the marriage will be a fiasco, and the people themselves will be subjected to a series of life failures.

On whether you can get married without registering a marriage in the registry office, see the following video.