Divorce

How to return a wife after a divorce?

How to return a wife after a divorce?

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Content
  1. Causes of rupture
  2. Psychologist tips

Not all couples are able to maintain their union. Unfortunately, divorce is currently not uncommon. There are situations when the spouses come to a decision about the break in relations. In this case, it is easier for them to postpone the dissolution of marriage, to start a new life. But what about when the spouse was the initiator of the break, and the former husband did not lose feelings for her? The article will tell you what actions you can take to try to get your wife back after the divorce.

Causes of rupture

Further relations between former spouses largely depend on how the process of divorce took place. The important role is played by the reasons that pushed for the termination of the union.

According to statistics, modern couples are often divorced due to the following problems.

  • Intervention in the marriage of friends or relatives of one of the spouses. This situation is far from uncommon. Parents often interfere in the life of couples most of all. Often the husband's mother may not like the choice of her son. Because of this, she does not seek to establish communication with her, but, on the contrary, provokes conflicts and sets her son against his spouse. Also, the cause of a divorce can also be the machinations of friends.
  • Spouses can not agree on characters, interests and views on life. It’s very hard to live near a person who practically does not support you in anything and constantly criticizes you. Differences in hobbies deprive a couple of the possibility of joint leisure and interesting communication.
  • A woman can leave her spouse, unable to endure his behavior or bad habits. Joint life imposes a certain responsibility and distribution of duties. If a man is not used to being careful, does not respond to his wife's requests for help around the house, he risks losing her.
  • Women are very hard to reconcile with the betrayal of her husband. Such an act inflicts great trauma and greatly hurt her feelings.
  • To push a wife to divorce is capable of feeling another man. Outbreak of love can seriously turn the head. In this exalted state, a person becomes impulsive, ready to go to desperate acts.
  • Too early marriage, unpreparedness for living together cause about 30% of divorces in our country. Lack of life experience, youthful maximalism, inability to build relationships and make concessions quickly upset the relationship in a pair. Particularly at risk in the early years of cohabitation are those spouses who had no experience of living together before marriage.
  • Alcoholism, drug addiction and another dependence of the spouse makes life in the family painful. A person with such problems often behaves aggressively and even inadequately. If a man is not ready to work on himself, his wife can only observe the negative changes in his personality and undergo violations in his behavior.
  • Excessive jealousy of the spouse turns married life into a “cage”. Obsessed with the idea of ​​exposing his wife, the spouse constantly arranges humiliating interrogations, controls every step, is able to explode in the most contrived reason. The atmosphere in such a family becomes very tense. It is difficult for a woman to endure such things day after day. Break the relationship with the jealous becomes the only way out.
  • The reason for the divorce may be problems in the sexual life of the spouses. The situation is aggravated by the fact that not all couples are able to tactfully talk to each other about their intimate life.
  • The precarious financial situation, lack of funds in the family makes a woman feel insecure.There are quite a lot of reasons why a man is unable to bring enough funds into the budget. But the woman as a result becomes very difficult in the role of the main nurse.
  • Aggressive behavior and violence from the spouse demeans a woman, traumatizes the psyche, leaves a strong heartache. Unfortunately, most people with this kind of behavior are practically not amenable to persuasion and requests. In moments of boiling emotions, they often do not control themselves. And as a result, in spite of the pleas of the man for forgiveness and the promise to change, in the heat of the next conflict, the beatings are repeated again and again.

Remember, a person will never go away from someone with whom he is calm, comfortable and good. No matter how sad it is that your wife decided to leave you, it is still worth analyzing your relationship and asking yourself questions. Only in this way can you correct mistakes and correct yourself, thereby having the opportunity for a second chance with your beloved woman.

Psychologist tips

It should immediately be said that, most likely, you will have to be patient. Very often after a break a woman does not even want to communicate with her former spouse. To reconcile, it will be necessary to carefully analyze and work out your shortcomings and act tactfully, carefully and unobtrusively.

Well, the main condition, of course, will be your sincere desire to restore relations with your ex-wife.

  • Do not rush things. Wait for the time for which emotions, grievances and other negative experiences from a divorce will fall down on both of you. What exactly this time interval should be decided on the situation. Sometimes it takes 2-3 weeks, and sometimes it is desirable to wait several months.
  • Work hard on yourself. It is unlikely that a woman who has decided to end the relationship will voluntarily return to your former one. Try to get rid of bad habits, if they interfered with your beloved. Set yourself to correct the negative manifestations of character. If necessary, consult a psychologist or psychotherapist and work with him on the psychological and personal problems that you have.
  • It is quite difficult to return the relationship if the cause of the divorce was another man. Here, perhaps, the only option would be to become in her eyes better than he. Perhaps he will make mistakes and their feelings for each other will fade away pretty quickly. And your ex-spouse will be able to see you in a new light and from a different point of view.
  • Often couples disagree because of the banal misunderstanding, which results from the inability to speak frankly with a partner. When the emotions associated with the divorce subside, make an appointment in a quiet place, such as a cafe or a poorly populated park. Talk heart to heart, without reproaches and claims. Remember the good and funny moments of your life together. Sincerely ask for forgiveness for the mistakes that you yourself have identified.
  • When establishing relationships, do not miss the courtship stage. Romantic tokens, gentle words, gifts and surprises, beautiful SMS messages, unobtrusive calls - all this can melt your girl's heart. “Conquest” of the beloved will have to start almost from the beginning, regardless of the length of your relationship and marriage.
  • Do not be too intrusive and stubborn, in all know the measure. Carefully track the reaction of the former spouse to your every step. Excessive onslaught you can just scare her away.
  • Build relationships with her relatives and friends, do not stop communicating with them after your break. If your wife had a conflict with your loved ones, try to influence them. Talk to your mom in conflict with your wife and explain to her how important the relationship with this woman is to you.
  • It is important to understand that you need to work on your mistakes and negative traits, but not to try on the role of another person. The unnatural pretended behavior will seem strange at best.The former wife knew and loved you for who you are, and only some of your qualities prompted her to divorce. Trying to change and turn into a completely different person with all your strength, you will definitely not attract her attention.
  • In the heat of the moment, do not give impracticable and obviously unrealistic promises. Be truthful and objectively evaluate your capabilities.
  • Do not lean on expensive gifts. A woman may get the impression that you are simply bribing her. Much better in this situation will work nice little things with a hint of romance.
  • Do not try to control the life of your ex-wife after a divorce. Activities such as spying on the porch or work, calls with questions or attempts to extract information from mutual friends will drop you deeply in her eyes. Excessive control and possessiveness are unpleasant, even during marriage. And officially dissolving the union, the woman, all the more, has the full right to privacy.
  • In most cases, the wife remains after the divorce with the child. Never try to manipulate them, tune them against the mother, or use the source of the information you need.

Do not put pressure on your ex-wife by having common children, do not blackmail her with a financial issue. Remember that your children are also experiencing your gap and they are also very hard.

If the former spouse is against your meetings with the child, do not put pressure on her and do not tear out contact with children by force and scandals. Give her time to calm down and cope with emotions, and then talk in private about it. Keep taking care of the children, even if your ex-wife has a new man. Do not interrupt the relationship with them.

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Information provided for reference purposes. Do not self-medicate. For health, always consult a specialist.

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